Falling Seed

When my siblings and I were still very young, our mother nurtured a robust collection of large tropical house plants. It was still the early eighties, and this common decor trend remained in full swing. We had large rubber plants with their oversized tough leaves, a selection of spiky Dracaenas and towering Chamaedorea Elegans that looked like something right out of a Bible story. For many years, this small rain forest adorned the corners of our home. One summer my mom assembled all the vegetation in a single corner of our finished basement. She constructed a sort of maze which wound through the branches and foliage opening to a small clearing in which she placed a child-size armchair. At the entrance of this tropical oasis, she constructed a sign which read, “The Garden of Gethsemane.” This was to be a special space dedicated for the sole purpose of spending time in prayer and reading our Bibles. What she called, a “quiet time” with Jesus.

Perhaps no other person had more impact on my young life than my mom. She taught me how to pray and listen for the voice of God. Her servant heart demonstrated what walking with Jesus really looks like. Unlike most other influences around me, I witnessed her sincere faith in action. While others only talked about what it means to be a Christian, she showed by her love, care, and genuine service what surrender to Jesus means. Over the years, I witnessed her struggle to rightly determine the Holy Spirit’s direction, both for her own life and for the many children placed in her care. Often thwarted by jealous naysayers and frequently forced to redirect her calling, she always remained increasingly sensitive to seeing God’s plan around her. What started with just a few houseplants all those years ago, later solidified in my young heart the joy of quiet surrender to Jesus. Daily devotion became a habitual practice and the secret joy of suffering with Christ seeded in my heart.

When our Savior wrestled upon the ground in Gethsemane, He sweat blood and shed bitter tears knowing the horrifying torture He would soon bare for the sins of this world (Luke 22:44). The quest to crush the serpent’s head began as He declared, “Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.” Every child of God must enter the garden. No amount of Bible study, sermon teaching, ministry efforts, or monetary donation will suffice (1 Samuel 15:22). Each of us are required to wrestle in the prayer closet before our Heavenly Father. We are destined to be crucified and no amount of talk or pleading will remove the cup of suffering from our lives (Galatians 2:20). The question simply remains, will you fully surrender and declare kinship with our Lord or will you fall asleep while the watchful traitors close in? Will you, as the first disciples, run from the sufferings of the cross or will you stand with Jesus in full surrender to His divine will for your life (Mark 14:50)? Our sinful nature must die if we are to live the life promised in Jesus. The garden is waiting and the nails prepared, all that remains is for us to declare, “…not my will but yours be done.”

And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

Luke 22:41-41 (ESV)

There’s something about particular early childhood experiences which seem to stay with us. When we were young we saw the world through new eyes and everything we noticed attached to seemingly random emotions in our brains. To this day, I take great delight in pausing in a hidden forest or hillside to commune with my Heavenly Father. To wrestle out, sometimes with great intensity, the fears and struggles of daily death with Jesus. I can’t help but note how this habit must have begun all those years ago among the houseplants in our old home.

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

John 3:8 (ESV)

When I was about nineteen I sat on an old bench surrounded by brightly colored fall foliage and marveled at the helicopter seeds which spiral down late every year. I composed a song expressing my sincere prayer for the Holy Spirit to work His divine surrender in my life. The lyrics express a genuine plea for Christ to be my all in all, His cross everything, and my life planted exactly where He alone intended. To this day, He has continually answered this same prayer and I have found no better place on earth than the garden of His perfect will. Like the seeds which blow in the wind and are scattered, so the Holy Spirit will guide those who surrender their lives completely to His divine purpose. Let us enter the garden of suffering, contend with the enemy of our souls and surrender to the pleasing will of Christ in all things. May we cheerfully take up our cross and die with the only one who was ever worthy to be praised.

The sun shines through the trees, the wind blows on the top
Orange and yellow, red and green expressions of God's perfect love
Each tree sings a melody, each leaf sings to Him a new song
Praises in perfect harmony, sacrifice to the Lord they love

Chorus
Let Your portion be enough for me
Your sacrifice all I need
To be like the falling seed
Planted wherever you please
Rooted deep within Your peace
Knowing where I fall is where you want me to be

As though it is never ending, there’s a callus on my heart
Swallowed in my mind’s own thinking, tossed and turned by the plans of my life
The wind blows where it pleases and I know not from where it comes
But I pray when it stops blowing, I’ll be dead enough to trust